I Could Be Wrong, But...
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Memoirs of a Failed Step-Dad:
For My Collection
©1996 David Boyne
Feathers
The first time I went to the park with Jack, I discovered
he chased birds.
A pigeon would land, and Jack would run at it like an
enraged pirate with two peg-legs, screaming secret obscenities
only another preschooler would have understood, yet
the intensity of which made me blush.
"Scroop! Grub-fra scree! Pigeon!"
The targeted pigeon would flap away as Jack made a final
lunge, yet Jack would taunt in victory, "Hak! Stupid
pigeon!"
Then he would squat low and scan the ground where the
bird had been.
I asked Jack's mom, "What is he doing?"
"Looking for feathers."
"What?"
"For his collection."
I wondered about a mother who would let her four and
a half year old child gather fallen bird feathers, but
when the sunlight came through the canopy of leaves
over us, back-lighting her curls of auburn hair, I wondered
other things about Jack's mom.
After Jack had chased dozens of pigeons and collected
three shabby feathers, he was exhausted. He asked me,
"Can I ride on your shoulders?"
I hoisted him over my head and set him on my shoulders--
and got whacked in both ears. Gritting my teeth, I managed
to ask civilly, "What do you have in your pockets,
Jack?"
"Rocks."
Dazed, I reached behind my ringing ears and patted hard
mounds in the pockets of Jack's red sweatpants. "His
pockets are filled with rocks!"
"I know," Jack's mom said, and reached into
Jack's pockets.
"Jack honey, we have to take some out."
"Not that one!" He snatched back one rock
from the handful she had extracted. "That's the
best."
Before she could close her hand Jack extracted two more
stones, each also, "the best".
Jack's mom laughed and said, "Sometimes he's carrying
so many rocks his pants fall down."
As we walked, Jack bonded with me by pulling the hairs
on the back of my neck and grinding his chin into the
top of my head.
I asked him, "Jack, what are the rocks for?"
"For my collection."
Read the rest of this and 12 other essays in the ebook Quo Vadis, Dude?
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